Stress Reduction April 22, 2003

Chat Transcript

I have given dozens of workshops and talks on stress reduction for caregivers in the past ten years.   I am often asked what is the best way to reduce the stress of caregiving for persons with dementia and related disorders.  Those of us who have cared for persons with dementia understand that it is one of the most stressful experiences any one can experience.  While each caregiver experiences stress differently, most caregivers understand that stress is a major part of their daily lives.  This stress can be exacerbated when national and international events, such as the world is experiencing currently, develop and are broadcast on the media.  One of the best ways you can take care of yourself is by learning ways to reduce stress in your daily life.

There are two kinds of stress that I want to look at this month.  The first is what I call “irregular stress” which is stress that is not usual and is based on some kind of emergency situation that happens rarely.  The second is “chronic stress” which is the kind of stress many caregivers of persons with dementia face on a regular and daily basis.  “Irregular” stress is necessary for survival and can actually be beneficial.  Chronic stress is not normal and can be debilitating to a caregiver’s health and well being over time.

Read Paul’s complete column where he provides two detailed stress reduction techniques that you can practice on your own at

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:11:36 PM)
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Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:11:48 PM)
hello paul, how are you doing tonite

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:11:58 PM)
Hi Doug, great how are you?

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:12:28 PM)
getting worn down

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:12:36 PM)
Did you enter the chatroom this evening based on my column Elder Journal?

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:12:58 PM)
no, I am one of the regulars in this room

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:13:24 PM)
You mention "worn down" are you feeling a lot of stress? who do you give care to?

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:13:38 PM)
my wife passes last Jan

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:13:46 PM)
she had Pick's Disease

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:13:57 PM)
Oh, I'm so sorry!

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:14:15 PM)
I am moving to Canada, in the process of selling all things, finding a renter for the house, etc

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:14:21 PM)
The transition from being a primary caregiver to not is a challenging one!

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:14:41 PM)
I remember now, you are moving to be with a friend there?

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:14:47 PM)
well, I met a special lady on ICQ several years ago

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:15:00 PM)
right, she is in the living room right now

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:15:26 PM)
dont need both houses

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:15:35 PM)
That is so wonderful! I just moved across country ... sold a lot, moved everything, it was a challenge but it's great to be moved!

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:16:10 PM)
i have made the trip to visit several times, but this time it will be for good

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:16:15 PM)
Your "special lady" is helping you get things together?

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:17:09 PM)
she has been a great help, just in organizing a couple weeks of garage sales

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:17:32 PM)
all is gone now except a few things that will go to an auction Thursday

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:17:47 PM)
It's the best time of year for garage sales. How long did you live in your current city?

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:18:01 PM)
then we will stay at a motel while we clean carpet

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:18:33 PM)
current house = 7 years, but in the area 60 years

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:19:04 PM)
Wow! How do you feel about moving to another country!?

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:19:17 PM)
mixed emotions

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:19:39 PM)
but if that is what I need to do, so be it

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:20:22 PM)
I can imagine! Yet, I can understand wanting a BIG change. I had a partner who died ten years ago and I just wanted a complete change! I moved to another city but in the same region but it was enough. Change "of scenery" can be very healthy!

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:20:46 PM)
I hope so LOL

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:21:22 PM)
You have a lot of support with adult children too and your friend?

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:21:32 PM)
i am looking forward to helping keep her fishpond sparkling clean

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:21:53 PM)
Does she have goldfish... the large "koi" ones?

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:21:58 PM)
my kids have said I should do what I think is best

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:22:08 PM)

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:22:25 PM)
you can see them in the link to Carols Fishpond in my homepage

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:22:42 PM)

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:22:43 PM)
That's good that your children support you! What is your web address?

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:22:54 PM)
Oh, thanks, I'll check it out!

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:23:13 PM)
Were the others in the chatroom earlier??

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:23:23 PM)
not to stay

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:23:41 PM)
some have gone to the F & F room

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:23:54 PM)
sometimes there's a lot and others just a few.

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:24:31 PM)
I hope you'll be able to chat after you move to Canada!

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:24:49 PM)
oh we will, but maybe a little less regular

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:25:07 PM)
I have tried to be here most evenings for several years

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:25:20 PM)
was in CANDID room before Rich created this one

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:25:40 PM)
It sounds like it was a great support for you over the years and you gave support to others!

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:26:09 PM)
yes it has been very helpful, especially in the beginning

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:26:38 PM)
Are there some chat rooms that have audio/video capability?

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:27:02 PM)
i dont know, this is the only room that I have participated in

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:28:12 PM)
Rich wanted me talk about "caregiver stress" this evening...are there any special ways that help you to relax during stressful times?

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:28:48 PM)
yes, I have had to find ways to keep my mind busy

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:29:14 PM)
By chatting online! Other ways, reading? sports? hobbies?

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:29:21 PM)
but now my mind can "retire"

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:29:47 PM)
i have sold the candy online, volunteered at church and school

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:29:49 PM)
Don't say that! You can just focus on other things now!

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:30:16 PM)
You will be missed in your current area...will you volunteer in your new home?

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:30:24 PM)
dont plan on it

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:30:39 PM)
Just "take it easy" which is good too!

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:30:41 PM)
i hope to take a long vacation

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:30:54 PM)
just go swimming most days in a heated pool

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:31:05 PM)
work on my family albums

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:31:12 PM)
and my stamp collection

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:31:14 PM)
that sounds good and the time of year is good for that!

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:31:42 PM)
I just organized three boxes of photos going back was a relaxing thing to do!

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:32:47 PM)
Carol had done a lot of work on my family tree, we want to organize a family page in my site

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:32:55 PM)
I've relocated to Virginia which is of course "Civil War" you have stamps going back that far?

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:33:45 PM)
i do have some, but most of mine are in the 1900's

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:33:56 PM)
I'll be sure to check your site out later to see if you've put up info on your family tree? Any family in the Civil War? I've really become interested in it and am watching an 11 hour video series on it. It's fascinating.

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:34:57 PM)
there may have been some vets on my mothers side

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:35:26 PM)
Interesting. Where did most of your ancestors immigrate from and to?

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:35:29 PM)
her family had been difficult to trace

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:36:09 PM)
Germany, PA, IA, SD

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:36:17 PM)
Have you used the internet to do "family tree" research?

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 9:36:19 PM)
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Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:36:22 PM)
that is on my Dads side

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:36:27 PM)
hello Primary

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:36:30 PM)
Hi Primary welcome!

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:36:50 PM)
Carol has been doing all the reseach so far

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 9:36:59 PM)

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:37:03 PM)
We've been chatting about family trees and doing research online.

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 9:37:28 PM)
Oh, O.k. I found the Elder Care website last night and decided to check it out tonight.

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:37:39 PM)
Carol's family came from England to Canada

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:37:50 PM)
Hobbies are one of the best way for caregivers to relieve stress and to "take the mind off stress! Family tree research is a major hobby for many people!

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:38:18 PM)
welcome Primary, we try to be in this room most evenings, come join us when you can

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 9:38:19 PM)

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:38:23 PM)
It sounds like Carol's family has a "long line"1

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:38:59 PM)
Yes Primary, are you a caregiver for a loved one?

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 9:39:07 PM)

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:39:16 PM)
I just changed my logo for easier reference.

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:39:28 PM)
How are you doing this evening?

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 9:39:35 PM)
Starting in December of last year I started taking care of my Nanna.

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:39:51 PM)
In her home or yours or another place?

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 9:40:23 PM)
She fell in November 2002 and had pins placed in her femour.

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 9:40:28 PM)
Since then she couldn'

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 9:40:32 PM)

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:40:48 PM)
Falls can be very debilitating, is she recovering well?

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 9:41:15 PM)
Before the fall she was living at home kind of independently. She didn't want to live with anyone - very strong willed.

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:41:59 PM)
She moved in with you?

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 9:42:24 PM)
She went to a rehabilitation/nursing center to learn how to walk in November. After being there two weeks she accumulated a bed sore, which concerned me. When I went to visit her the would nurse recommended her for debreeding.

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:42:51 PM)
sorry, i need to go, hope to see you all again soon

Doug (Apr 22, 2003 9:42:56 PM)
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paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:43:04 PM)
Bye Doug!

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 9:43:13 PM)
The debreeding was going to take several months to heal and I didn't feel comfortable leaving her there after she got this sore within two weeks.

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 9:43:17 PM)
Bye Bye.

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:43:33 PM)
Bye Primary thanks!

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 9:43:45 PM)
Are you leaving?

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:43:55 PM)
Oh, I thought you were! I'm not!

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 9:44:00 PM)

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:44:18 PM)
So after two weeks, did you take your nana home? or move her?

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 9:44:19 PM)
I said bye to Doug - didn't want to be rude.

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 9:44:58 PM)
Well after, I heard about the debreeding and how it would take her several months to heal. I had her transferred to where I live.

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 9:45:02 PM)
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paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:45:14 PM)
HI Huegs, great to "see you!"

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 9:45:22 PM)
Hello there

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:45:30 PM)
Doug just signed off and Primary is new to the chat room!

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 9:45:41 PM)
I am on late tonight

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 9:46:02 PM)
I had her placed in a rehabilitation/nursing center here and within two weeks her bed sore was healed and she moved in with me.

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 9:46:06 PM)
Hello Huegs.

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:46:09 PM)
How are you tonight? Primary is taking of her "nana" in her home!

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:46:27 PM)
I meant to say Primary is taking CARE of her nana!

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 9:46:28 PM)
I am doing ok

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 9:46:41 PM)
Hi Primary

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:46:45 PM)
Just ok? Anything going on?

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 9:47:06 PM)
I have not been on with you in a while. My husband died about three weeks ago

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:47:22 PM)
Oh my Huegs! I am so sorry to hear that!

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 9:47:29 PM)
So am I.

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 9:47:46 PM)
Yes but as you know with this terrible disease, it is a blessing

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:48:02 PM)
The transition from being a primary caregiver to not is very challenging too!

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:48:31 PM)
I understand what you mean...he had Alzheimer's Disease?

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 9:48:58 PM)
Yes, and cancer in the end but it was the AD that he died of

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 9:49:05 PM)
The swallowing problem

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:49:25 PM)
Yes, and that means a person trying to live on Ensure!

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 9:49:47 PM)
Yes got to the point choked on that. Could not figure out what to do with his tongue

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:50:10 PM)
Was he able to pass away at home or in a nursing home?

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 9:50:33 PM)
He was at home. In hospital bed in living room for about a year. We had hospice for all that time

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:50:44 PM)
That's not my disclaimer...I should change my logo!

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:51:08 PM)
It's a blessing he could pass away at home?

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 9:51:15 PM)

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 9:51:20 PM)
Yes and I had a lot of family support

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 9:51:31 PM)
Does your nana have AD also primary

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 9:51:37 PM)

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:52:00 PM)
I changed my logo again. Has your nana's bed sores gotten better?

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 9:52:26 PM)
Yes. By the time she left the rehabilitation/nursing center here she was completely healed.

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:52:47 PM)
Oh good. So the major transition has been that she moved in with you!

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 9:52:58 PM)
She received therapy in the home for 2 1/2 months.

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 9:53:07 PM)

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:53:16 PM)
How have you been doing with this change?

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 9:53:37 PM)
I think I'm adjusting o.k.

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:54:02 PM)
Are you also working a full time job? or are you a full time caregiver?

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 9:54:11 PM)
I was in school when I took on this challenge and withdrew from my class this semester because I was always runing and that's something I was not used to doing constantly.

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 9:54:19 PM)
I work fulltime.

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:54:44 PM)
Oh my you do have a "full load!" Is your nana able to be at home okay during the day?

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 9:56:27 PM)
Not alone. We have been blessed - my girlfriend knew family members that work in elderly care. There are two ladies that sit with Nanna daily, getting her up for the day and cooking her meals until I get home.

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:56:56 PM)
I'm glad you have some help!

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 9:57:14 PM)
Yes. It has been extremely helpful to me.

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:57:23 PM)
Does she sleep for most of the night?

husband (Apr 22, 2003 9:58:10 PM)
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paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:58:29 PM)
Welcome Husband!

husband (Apr 22, 2003 9:58:31 PM)
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Primary (Apr 22, 2003 9:58:43 PM)
Yes. At one time she was getting up 4 to 5 times a night but another caregiver I met through work told me it might be the caffeine. Since then we've been making lemonade and giving her juice and it has helped her sleep most of the night.

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:58:49 PM)
We're having fun and friends too!

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 9:58:50 PM)
Hello Husband.

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:59:21 PM)
It's great to find small ways to make things better like NOT giving caffeine in the evening!

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 9:59:39 PM)
Yes. That made a tremendous difference.

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 9:59:44 PM)
Huegs, have you been able to have a more normal routine?

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:00:23 PM)
It has only been two weeks. Still doing a lot of paper work.

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:00:49 PM)
It's Spring which means the weather is getting MUCH nicer to be able to get out more!

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:00:54 PM)
Had to get the house back to normal. Will visit with grandkids for a week now

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:01:14 PM)
That's great...a change of pace is the perfect thing to do!

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:01:20 PM)
I don't know what it is to just pick up and go out. This has been a rough year

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:01:40 PM)
It will take some "getting used to"...caregiving is so INTENSE!

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 10:01:56 PM)
Yes it is.

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:02:22 PM)
It's so important to find even a few moments during the day and evening for yourself! Even if it's only in the bathroom!

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:02:27 PM)
Just remember to think of yourself once in a while. You will need it

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 10:03:11 PM)
Yes. I got overwhelmed and did not realize it until I didn't have the energy to do anything but lay in bed.

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:03:57 PM)
That is so understandable! Our society just doesn't really understand what caregiving does to a person/people/family!

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:04:42 PM)
Yes and don't be afraid to ask for something to help. I started to take prozac and it made such a difference. Even gave me energy

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:05:46 PM)
Depression is one of the primary forms of stress for caregivers!

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:06:03 PM)
And the anxiety also

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:06:29 PM)
Are you able to find some relief from that anxiety now though?

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 10:06:42 PM)
For a long time I felt that my situation wasn't anything because Nanna is not a dementia or Alzheimer's patient. But she is very opinionated and I was worried that she would insult her daily caregivers. Luckily when she goes too far they take under consideration that she is 91 going on 92 and she is from another time. However, I learned that although she doesn't have a mental sickness this process has been time consuming and overwhelming just the same.

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:07:00 PM)
Yes, Still have to grieve a bit but I know it will pass

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:07:19 PM)
Caregiving is caregiving! And it stressful no matter what the diagnosis!

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 10:07:37 PM)
Yes, that is what I've learned since January.

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:08:04 PM)
I must say though Primary that if your nana can have lived over 90 years and be mostly independent, that's pretty darn good!

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:09:09 PM)
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sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:09:15 PM)
Hi all

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:09:17 PM)
Hi sks! Welcome!

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 10:09:21 PM)
Yeah, she knew her home extremely well and was hell bent on not leaving it. The only reason she left was because she had the fall and the rehabilitation/nursing center wouldn't release her with a discharge plan that included her receiving some home care assistance.

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 10:09:25 PM)
Hello sks.

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:09:35 PM)

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:09:58 PM)
Paul looked twice thought it said Paul Anka

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:10:06 PM)
Hi Huegs

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:10:14 PM)
It was great that you stepped in to help yet we all know how stressful it is! No, I'm not Paul Anka although he's a great singer!

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:10:32 PM)
How are you tonight sks?

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:10:40 PM)
Hi sks

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:11:01 PM)
Primary are you caregiving then?

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 10:11:15 PM)
Yes. My Nanna - 91 years old.

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:11:25 PM)
is she active

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:11:54 PM)
My MIL who lives with us said she read after she broke hip that most don't live a year

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:12:06 PM)
she said she was going to prove it wrong

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 10:12:11 PM)
She can walk with a walker and guidance but she can talk 40 mph some days.

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:12:12 PM)
that was 3 1/2 years ago

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:12:26 PM)
Mary does better with the walking

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:12:26 PM)
She sounds feisty! and proved them wrong! good for her!

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:13:01 PM)
the hallucinations from Lewy Body just about do us both in but we keep on coping

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:13:38 PM)
oh my sks! Lewy Body is a just being better understood now!

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:13:44 PM)
she had about 4 weeks in rehab and then home PT

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 10:13:56 PM)
What is Lewy Body?

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:13:57 PM)
yes and not well by many

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:14:01 PM)
is she doing better after rehab/pt?

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:14:33 PM)
a formation at nerve is what name indicates in frontal lobe - with many varieations

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:14:39 PM)
sp ugh

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:14:49 PM)
Lewy Body is a "new" dementia that is different from Alzheimer's Disease and one of its primary symptoms is hallucinations which not all people with Alzheimer's have.

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:15:12 PM)
she walks well as her visual depth perception allows

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:15:19 PM)
that also is a part of LBD

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:15:46 PM)
Some home modification is good for visual depth impairments. being sure the carpet to wood floor transition are well highlighted.

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:15:49 PM)
last Nov. we were so distraught coping with all the hallucinations I came on line for guidance

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 10:16:02 PM)
Oh, o.k.

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:16:07 PM)
I'm glad you sought help online and hope it was helpful!

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:16:44 PM)
she's beyond that helping really but she knows the areas and we have mostly wood floors - when we go out - I tell her just lines, a small step , 3 sections of walk etc

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:17:08 PM)
It's good that you can still go out sometimes!

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:17:20 PM)
that all helps - I met Huegs and she keeps me coming back here :>)

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 10:17:24 PM)
Yes, that is important.

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:17:51 PM)
I take her out all I can - my office is in my home - she's still quite mobile

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:18:44 PM)
if she didn't tell you one of the incidents - you'd not realize she had much of a problem - but we're in about year 3-4

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:18:52 PM)
Are the hallucinations any better?

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:18:52 PM)
are the hallucinations any better?

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:19:08 PM)
sorry for the repeat, my computer froze for a second!

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:19:10 PM)
not much

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:19:14 PM)
no problem

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:19:21 PM)
we are with a new neuro - working with meds

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 10:19:22 PM)
That's great! Part of my frustration is that on the weekends when it is nice I want to take Nanna out but she has in the past tried to fight me but I explained to her that I can't leave for long periods by herself in case something happens in the apartment building she would be stuck.

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:19:58 PM)
sks. I was just going to ask about the meds

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:20:03 PM)
we have found 3 times that thru med adjustment we nearly eliminated them - now - we're just praying a new combination will help

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:20:20 PM)
she's been on Aricept for 3 years almost

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:20:45 PM)
Primary, can you have a friend of Nanna's go out with you/her so it would be more amenable to her?

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:20:49 PM)
My husband took that for two years and then exelon. But they are more Alzheimer Drugs aren't they

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:20:50 PM)
She was on Sular for BP in 2000 and when we took her off that and went to Zestril they cleared

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:21:33 PM)
yes but the first line - Aricept, Reminyl and Exelon work for MOST LBD patients but it's trial and error which works best

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:21:34 PM)
Hopefully there will be better meds for ALL of these issues! Why research is so important!

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:21:45 PM)
the second tier of meds are a disaster if wrong

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:21:56 PM)
NO Haldol

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:22:01 PM)
The right mix is the most important thing!

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 10:22:16 PM)
Nanna is not from here and she doesn't trust too many people. That's why she lived at home by herself. She doesn't trust anyone and when she was home everyone stole everything from her.

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:22:19 PM)
yes need s to be the new atypical antipsychoitcs

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:22:33 PM)
my spelling lousy tonight

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:22:42 PM)
no problem!

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:22:48 PM)
Mary started Sr. Cit yesterday

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:23:00 PM)
She moved here to Oh from Fl in fall 2001

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:23:01 PM)
a special group?

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:23:12 PM)
yes it's really the Day Care thing

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:23:31 PM)
but we don't call it that - she can still read Large Print on a good day

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:23:43 PM)
day care can be effective glad that she WILL go to it! Primary, is there a day care near you that you could have nanna go to?

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:23:47 PM)
folds clothes after a fashion - she doesn't know I redo

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:24:07 PM)
I told her I wanted her to try it for a month - to meet others her age

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:24:13 PM)
just giving the person something constructive to do is very helpful

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:24:26 PM)
her X-husband was very distrusting

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:25:02 PM)
My husband played solitaire for quite a few years

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:25:16 PM)
a total nut - every body was a crook and out to fleece you - she lived with that for 43 years until he accused her of cleaning out the bank accounts

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 10:25:25 PM)
There is one that is all day that recently opened but again my main dillemma with her is that she doesn't want to go anywhere especially if I'm going to leave her there for long periods. She had a hard time adjusting to the rehabilitation/nursing the first few days because I didn't live there with her.

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:25:49 PM)
they pick her up about 9:30 and bring her home about 2:45

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:26:15 PM)
I understand, Primary, sometimes not giving the person the choice and just taking CAN work but not for everyone.

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:26:18 PM)
I do have the advantage that my first MIL lives in an adult apt and goes to do all the things they have

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:26:23 PM)
That is a great help. I know the frustration of my mom not wanting to go anywhere also.

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:26:45 PM)
Oh my Huegs, do you care for your mother too?

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:26:47 PM)
I told Mary (MIL with us) that girls fought with Helen until she went and now she loves it

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:27:30 PM)
I was a widow and we still all get together with my first inlaws - my mom and dad are gone

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:27:35 PM)
Yes, that's often the case once the person actually goes...but initially they didn't want to. It may be a worth a try Primary to not really give Nanna a sounds "harsh" but can work sometimes.

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 10:27:42 PM)
Yeah, I'm working on letting her know (respectfully) that she can't run everyone's schedule to fit her own all the time.

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:27:58 PM)
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Primary (Apr 22, 2003 10:28:00 PM)
I will try it.

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:28:01 PM)
tell her that to just try it for - 2 weeks or something

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:28:08 PM)
Hi stella! welcome!

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 10:28:11 PM)

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:28:13 PM)
Hi stella

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 10:28:15 PM)
Hello Stella

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:28:25 PM)
hi guys, how are you all tonight?

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:28:27 PM)
we laughed because they told me she was the only one who watched the movie yesterday

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:28:38 PM)
Great "logo"! didn't see that one before!

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:28:49 PM)
my job drives me to drink sometimes =)

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:28:52 PM)
here we put one on she said she wanted to see and she got up and left room

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:28:56 PM)
not my clients, my co-workers!

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:29:13 PM)

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 10:29:15 PM)
I feel ya there Stella.

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:29:15 PM)
we understand totally!

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:29:34 PM)
Already had a glass of wine with dinner.

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:29:43 PM)
understood, huegs, how are you these days?

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:30:04 PM)
lol - last week I told MIL lets run away from home and pick up some things at the store - she told me she didn't want to ride with me because I was inebriated. LOL

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:30:22 PM)
I told her no I hadn't had a thing to drink but I could

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 10:30:27 PM)

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:30:31 PM)
lol, sks!

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:30:43 PM)
stello, I don't know if you knew but George passed away about two weeks ago

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:30:47 PM)
I get accused of being drunk sometimes - and I'm not, I'm just hyper and silly!

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:30:58 PM)
oh, huegs, I am so sorry, how are you doing with that?

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:31:01 PM)
I have been on this chat for so long that I just have to still come on each night

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:31:13 PM)
and we are glad that you do!

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:31:14 PM)
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huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:31:17 PM)
Well it was a blessing for sure but it is strange get used to things

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:31:22 PM)
it cracks me up when she comes up with those long words and perceptions

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:31:31 PM)
Huegs don't you dare leave us LOL

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:31:46 PM)
I need to hear about the wedding coming up

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:31:54 PM)
you have alot to teach us still about getting used to your loved one gone, you need to keep coming back here!

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:31:54 PM)
Ok. Thanks

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:32:06 PM)
Yes that should be fun. Now I can look forward to it

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:32:10 PM)
Do you have a support system at home?

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:32:13 PM)
if fact I thought last week I really don't know real first name or email

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:32:41 PM)
but know the kids

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:32:57 PM)
I know that mixed blessing feeling - on one hand, your glad the suffering is over, on the other, they are gone

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 10:33:34 PM)
Well, I'm going to go but I wanted to say that it's been a pleasure talking with all of you. I'm thankful I found this website. Enjoy your evening.

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 10:33:39 PM)

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:33:42 PM)
when my clients die, this is what I think : "oh, thank god! oh god, how can I be glad for them to have passed?" never fails, everytime I think this!

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:33:45 PM)
come back

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:33:52 PM)
come back soon, primary =)

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:33:59 PM)

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:34:02 PM)
we lost Paul Anka too

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 10:34:03 PM)
I will.

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 10:34:11 PM)
Good night.

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:34:27 PM)
night - try the Sr. Cit - don't call it day care or we'll call you mud

Primary (Apr 22, 2003 10:34:27 PM)
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stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:34:38 PM)
so how are you, sks?

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:34:47 PM)
OK - tired -

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:34:50 PM)
fighting a cold

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:34:57 PM)
remind me, are you a caregiver?

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:35:05 PM)
yes my MIL lives with us

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:35:19 PM)
I love my MIL, I'm lucky, do you get along with yours?

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:35:22 PM)
and Hubby is on 3rd week of bed rest - wounds not healing

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:35:32 PM)
oh no, whats wrong with your hubby?

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:35:38 PM)
yes - she had really been my best friend for several years now -

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:35:50 PM)
that is wonderful that you have that relationship with her, sks =)

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:35:50 PM)
that makes it harder - I'm so used to sharing things with her

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:36:01 PM)
yes, that would make it harder

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:36:08 PM)
pretty much gone - it's more like mothering

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:36:15 PM)
I hope my daughters in law can say that about me one day.

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:36:23 PM)
that role-reversal thing must be hard to get used to

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:36:27 PM)
hubby has major arthritis -osteo and rheu etc etc

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:36:32 PM)
do they now, huegs? If not, they should!

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:36:40 PM)
LOL Huegs I hope I can say that about my DIL one day

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:36:46 PM)
my MIL was just diagnosed with arthritis - a certain kind

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:37:10 PM)
I do very well with both of them really but can't imagine them dealing with me as I do with Mary

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:37:14 PM)
not osteo or rheu - I cant remember

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:37:32 PM)
Yes I think they do. The new one "to be" is very close to me now. I think my other one is starting to appreciate me more. Funny, both of their mother's are dead.

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:37:36 PM)
when I get dementia - and I'm sure I will - I pitty my future caregiver!

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:38:05 PM)
hopefully you can fill that void somewhat in their life one day =)

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:38:15 PM)
well he has a lot of problems with healing and falling

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:38:39 PM)
I just know I am going to be a management issue - heck, I'm a management issue now!

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:38:58 PM)
Mary asked Kelly (DIL) with 3 Easter morning at their home if she had any children of her own

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:39:02 PM)
They were both great the last few weeks. Did not do a thing her during the funeral. They handled everything

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:39:13 PM)
how did kelly respond?

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:39:22 PM)
Kelly told me and laughed she said she told them oh yes they are around here somewhere

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:39:32 PM)
she's a RN with BS in nursing

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:39:49 PM)
wow - that demonstrates great respect and love for you, huegs, they didn't have to do that, but they did

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:40:01 PM)
good, so she knew how to respond

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:40:12 PM)
that's good H. - my brothers DIL's really I pulled together after my SIL was killed in August

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:40:13 PM)
Yes kids went to the funeral parlor and pl anned everything.

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:40:24 PM)

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:40:32 PM)
d had some problems in past

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:40:43 PM)
oh no, I am so sorry, sks, how tragic!

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:40:46 PM)
the one has a 14 yr daughter and wanted more children

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:41:07 PM)
she can't have any and didn't know mature way to deal with it

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:41:20 PM)
but now the girls seem to do very well

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:41:43 PM)
I know losing Kathy on top of Mary not being able to share has really been hard

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:41:43 PM)
all in good time, everyone needs to grieve thier own way. I'm glad they are doing better

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:42:09 PM)
your loosing those who you can confide in the most, that is rough

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:42:41 PM)
Kathy was the extreme opposite of what we go thru - she was on rural mail route - pulled out from box went down road and was making a left turn - semi hit her in the rear end

skip (Apr 22, 2003 10:42:51 PM)
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stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:42:54 PM)
I'm starting to conduct family counseling sessions and that's what I want to fucus on, how it feels to slowly loose someone you love

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:43:03 PM)
2 hours later she was gone

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:43:09 PM)
that is awful, sks

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:43:15 PM)
hi, skip =0

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:43:18 PM)

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:43:21 PM)
Hi Skip

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:43:39 PM)
Hi skip

skip (Apr 22, 2003 10:43:42 PM)
hi everyone )

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:43:46 PM)
How did someone earlier make the smiley face

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:43:53 PM)
I like your bowling ball with the crescent moon =)

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:44:01 PM)
That is great stella. There is such a need for that these days

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:44:06 PM)
I don't know

skip (Apr 22, 2003 10:44:19 PM)
i had the lightbulb until someone said the brightness was hurting her eyes

skip (Apr 22, 2003 10:44:25 PM)

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:44:34 PM)
It's hard for them to talk about their feelings with me, a relative stranger, but I hope to develope a relationship with my families over time

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:44:36 PM)

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:44:42 PM)
hahahha, skip!

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:45:05 PM)
I'll give you a glass of wine if you will let me bowl =)

skip (Apr 22, 2003 10:45:06 PM)

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:45:09 PM)
Is counseling your profession?

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:45:16 PM)

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:45:30 PM)
I work at a nursing home

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:45:38 PM)
Is it marriage counseling

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:45:40 PM)

skip (Apr 22, 2003 10:45:55 PM)
for the clients or their family, or both?

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:46:00 PM)
no, I work with people with dementia and counsel their families too

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:46:00 PM)
Oh ok

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:46:06 PM)
I understand now

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:46:15 PM)
my clients are my priority, though, and they are the most fun to be with =)

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:46:25 PM)
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stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:46:32 PM)
paul, your back!Q

skip (Apr 22, 2003 10:46:46 PM)

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:46:51 PM)
I think one of the hardest to convey is the proper description of the problem with so many Sr. diagnosis

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:46:54 PM)
Hi Paul

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:46:56 PM)
Hi all, my computer crashed but I'm baacckkk! Hi Skip!

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:47:00 PM)
thought we lost you

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:47:07 PM)

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:47:16 PM)
Stella - I started a journal in Jan for Mary

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:47:19 PM)
You did! But it's good to be back!

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:47:22 PM)
We try to avoid specific diagnosis - we just say dementia or cognitive decline or memory loss, what ever it may be

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:47:34 PM)
you MIL, sks?

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:47:40 PM)
1st few days described basically all the situations within the day

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:47:47 PM)

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:48:03 PM)
what do you hope to do with your journal?

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:48:22 PM)
then had to go to random - but it was the best thing I had done because - you say hallucinations -and people think - Oh yeah

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:48:41 PM)
they don't understand the degree unless an entire day has been listed

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:48:48 PM)
That is an excellent idea to keep a log of daily events - your able to see patterns, declines, etc

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:48:55 PM)
the delusions and dementias must be the same

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:49:02 PM)
no, not really

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:49:05 PM)
It'd be great of you could share part of your journal online somehow!

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:49:15 PM)
calling a piece of candy an apple one time - is a dementia

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:49:28 PM)
I found in the later stages of AD that my husband saw people up over his bed

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:49:34 PM)
but calling things by different names all day long

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:49:39 PM)
I'm still trying to sort all that out myself - delusions are thinking things that are not real, like someone is stealing from you, hullucinations are seeing/hearing things that are not real

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:49:42 PM)
40 or 50 things

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:49:47 PM)
Friendly people hopefully Huegs!

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:49:51 PM)

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:49:58 PM)
there is a word for that, sks, mixing up words, I can

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:50:09 PM)
I cant think of it right now - brb - I can find out -

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:50:11 PM)
the best descriptions I found was in the MSN group pages

skip (Apr 22, 2003 10:50:25 PM)

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:50:28 PM)
He lost his words so long ago that he could not tell us

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:50:30 PM)
there are

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:50:52 PM)
yes - Huegs and no one can imagine - unless it's detailed

skip (Apr 22, 2003 10:50:54 PM)

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:51:05 PM)
can't know if they want water or bathroom

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:51:18 PM)
one day Mary couldn't remember where the bathroom was

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:51:35 PM)
I led her there and 5 min later I hear this beating on the wall

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:51:40 PM)
aphasia is the loss of ability to express oneself by speech or writing, or to read or understand the speach of others

skip (Apr 22, 2003 10:51:55 PM)

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:51:56 PM)
I went in and she was sitting on the bench in the shower beating on the wall because the door wouldn't open

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:52:02 PM)
I got that out of "gentlecare" by moyra jones - my bible!

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:52:30 PM)
the big thing with LBD is the fluctuating cognition

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:52:37 PM)
We did a lot of charades the past few years. That he could make us understand

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:52:39 PM)
by min, hr, day , etc etc

husband (Apr 22, 2003 10:52:45 PM)
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sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:52:51 PM)
Hi Husband

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:52:54 PM)
sks, maybe its a form of agnosia, the inability to recognize familiar stimuli

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:52:56 PM)
long time no see

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:52:58 PM)
Hi husband welcome!

husband (Apr 22, 2003 10:53:14 PM)
hello, everyone

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:53:27 PM)
how are you husband/

husband (Apr 22, 2003 10:54:01 PM)
ok, here, stella, how about you?

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:54:13 PM)
go to the MSN - groups - there is one that is LBD Caregivers - by yours truly - I'm just getting it started, then AD Journey, AD Support, and Caregivers of Alzheimers

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:54:15 PM)
sks, I just found it out, what your MIL did is called Anomia: the inability to recall the correct word or phrase to identify and object

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:54:22 PM)
hi husband. How is your wife tonight

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:54:23 PM)
I am great, husband

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:54:52 PM)
There's also APRAXIA anyone know what that is specifically?

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:55:18 PM)
Apraxia: the inability to carry out skilled and purposeful movement - to make the body do what the mind wants it to do

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:55:23 PM)
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paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:55:29 PM)
Ah yes, thanks!

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:55:47 PM)
I'm telling you, "Gentlecare" by Moyra Jones rules!

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:56:03 PM)
Is that a new book?

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:56:13 PM)
and Abulia is the inability to hold a thought long enough to complete an action or sentence

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:56:20 PM)
no, moyra has been around for years

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:56:33 PM)
and Alzheimer's disease is all of the above

skip (Apr 22, 2003 10:56:55 PM)
like forgetting to turn off the water?

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:56:58 PM)
yup - Alz makes up about 60% of all dementia's - all these symptoms can be seen in alz

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:57:01 PM)
Yes Huegs which is why it's so challenging to care for the person!

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:57:33 PM)
My project is to get all the dementia's straight so one day I can teach classes on it

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:57:39 PM)
I have a long way to go!

skip (Apr 22, 2003 10:57:47 PM)
sounds like you're ready to me

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:57:49 PM)
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paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:57:50 PM)
You know a lot now Stella!!

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:57:57 PM)
welcome back sks!

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:57:58 PM)
new I was histor

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:57:59 PM)
thanks, skip, I got the will, I just need the skill =)

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:58:02 PM)

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:58:13 PM)
got sucked into the nether world did ya, sks?

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:58:17 PM)
typed and sent 3 times and then gone

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:58:18 PM)
But they called my husband's atypical alzheimer.

husband (Apr 22, 2003 10:58:27 PM)
sleep well ya'll . . . past my bedtime

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:58:30 PM)
what did they mean by that, huegs?

husband (Apr 22, 2003 10:58:33 PM)
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sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:58:34 PM)
because of what Huegs?

skip (Apr 22, 2003 10:58:37 PM)
nabakov says the best way to learn something is to teach it

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:58:50 PM)
Sks, you wrote above about a few online resources, are they online journals?

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:58:53 PM)
I just read that LBD used to be

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:59:02 PM)
they are groups

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 10:59:16 PM)
oh thanks will have to check them out!

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:59:17 PM)
they have daily boards or forums

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:59:19 PM)

stella (Apr 22, 2003 10:59:21 PM)
ah! good advice, skip, but my philosiphy is the best way to learn something is to do it

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:59:32 PM)
but the best part of them is the info at the side

skip (Apr 22, 2003 10:59:36 PM)
makes more sense

sks (Apr 22, 2003 10:59:44 PM)
each is set up a little differently

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:59:46 PM)
He always knew where he was and who we were

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 10:59:57 PM)
Never lost that until about a month before he died

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 11:00:03 PM)
that's a blessing huegs!

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:00:08 PM)
I could just sit in my office and focus on families - but I prefer to interact with my guys =)

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 11:00:18 PM)
that he knew you for so long I mean!

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 11:00:39 PM)
Yes and in the end he only felt safe when I was near

skip (Apr 22, 2003 11:00:41 PM)
bet they are teaching you

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:00:51 PM)
I have a guy right now who is considerably advanced in his alz, yet he is aware of each cognitive ability he looses! Very atypical

skip (Apr 22, 2003 11:00:52 PM)

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 11:01:00 PM)
who are your "guys" stella? clients?

skip (Apr 22, 2003 11:01:00 PM)

skip (Apr 22, 2003 11:01:15 PM)
tried to do a wink

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:01:16 PM)
Stella are they doing anything to educate on the LBD at your facility

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:01:25 PM)
yes, I work with people with dementia - mid to late stages

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:01:33 PM)
what is LBD?

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 11:01:48 PM)
Lewy Body Disease

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:01:48 PM)
hahahah, skip, thats cute!

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:02:00 PM)
Lewy Body Disease - separated by presentation - it's a frontal lobe dementia

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:02:13 PM)
That is one topic I just got info together on tonight - we have one suspected case of LBD

skip (Apr 22, 2003 11:02:37 PM)
huegs are you back from visiting your family?

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:02:41 PM)
well it is very very touchy

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:02:50 PM)
why is that, sks?

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:02:52 PM)
because the formation can be in different areas

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 11:02:57 PM)
nO. Go tomorrow for almost a week

skip (Apr 22, 2003 11:03:11 PM)
oh.... have a nice visit

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:03:13 PM)
what do you mean?

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 11:03:19 PM)
Stella FYI, there's more info above, sks shared quite a bit earlier.

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:03:33 PM)
oh, I'm sorry, I must have missed that, sks

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:03:42 PM)
the main site says IF 3 of 5 present

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 11:04:24 PM)
don't be sorry stella, it was before you got online!! But thought you might find it interesting!!

skip (Apr 22, 2003 11:04:52 PM)
can you look back at what's been said?

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:04:59 PM)
hallucinations visual and auditory detailed and specific, fluctuating congition, parkinsonian gait, difficulty with visual - depth perception, and dang if I can remember the last one

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:05:01 PM)
oh, I thought it was because I had my nose buried in my gentlecare book that I missed a whole conversation!

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:05:07 PM)
yes, I will try to

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:05:18 PM)
go to

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:05:25 PM)
I'm skimming my info now, sks, seems very severe

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:05:29 PM)
it's a must for anyone today in your field

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:05:30 PM)
Hey, thanks for the sight!

huegs (Apr 22, 2003 11:05:38 PM)
other than the hallucinations, that would describe my husband

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 11:05:43 PM)
skip, yes and also Rich puts the chat "script" up later!

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:05:57 PM)
several in our group have had haldol prescribed - and it's turned the patient into a disaster

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:06:15 PM)
the only way to be absolute is the autopsy

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 11:06:20 PM)
haldol is being prescribed less and less because of that

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:06:26 PM)
thank you, sks, I was about to type that!

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:06:38 PM)
true but most of the dopa

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:06:44 PM)
autopsies are the only way to determine exactly what disease someone had

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:06:57 PM)
even our neuro behaviorist I talked to said absolutely no benedryl

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:07:15 PM)
he said benedryl is a nono for LBD

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:07:23 PM)
really? There are some forms of dementia that are not condusive to certain meds, and I believe you are right about LBD

skip (Apr 22, 2003 11:07:40 PM)
mom goes nuts on benedryl... what about liquid tylenot (she gets soooo sleepy)

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 11:07:45 PM)
sometimes no meds is better

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:07:51 PM)
any neuroleptics or antipsychotics need to be newer atypical

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:07:53 PM)
each person is different, skip

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:08:00 PM)
and if they don't work, move on

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:08:04 PM)

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:08:14 PM)
personally, there are some alcoholic beverages I can't drink or I go loopy - all depends how things interact with someones chemistry

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 11:08:16 PM)
or try a different 'mix'

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:08:18 PM)

skip (Apr 22, 2003 11:08:39 PM)

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:08:46 PM)
I "mixed" alcohol once when I was 19 - ended up in emerge with a 4 day hangover!

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:08:50 PM)
the first line - I think u weren't here yet Aricept, Reminyl , Exelon and C---- are ok

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:09:02 PM)
they slow the same as for AD

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:09:11 PM)
Aricept seems to be the new favorite drug - thats the next thing I need to learn about

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 11:09:31 PM)
it is becoming VERY popular

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:09:42 PM)
they tried switching Mary to Reminyl since she'd been on Aricept so long and hallucinations were worse

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:09:52 PM)
the most meds have decreased the advancement of alz is 6 months -

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:09:53 PM)
she got to be such a zombie

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:10:10 PM)
talk to your doctor about that, sks

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:10:12 PM)
we switched her back and regained most of what we lost

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 11:10:18 PM)
again where meds may not be the best thing!

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:10:24 PM)
when I say we I mean all

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:10:29 PM)
Dr. us etc

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:10:32 PM)
paul, meds are a last resort in my book

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:10:40 PM)
we are very involved in this as

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 11:10:50 PM)
that's a good philosophy stella, I like that!

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:10:59 PM)
I believe in behavioral intervention, communication, and if necessary, PRN's to decrease their anxiety and to prevent them from hurting themselves or others

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:11:06 PM)
if you don't do the Aricept etc in time you lose it only stalls

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:11:42 PM)
yes, sks, you are very right, there is no cure, and my families hold false hopes in these medications and its hard for me to bring them down to reality

skip (Apr 22, 2003 11:12:00 PM)
what about muscle relaxants, they seems to help mom for some reason

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:12:06 PM)
I had one family tell me to put her on one certain drug, and that would "cure" her

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:12:07 PM)
our orthopaedic surgeon's FIL has AD

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 11:12:16 PM)
yes that's another issue with meds, people often think they will be a miracle cure.

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:12:44 PM)
he and wife said they were told by Drug company every time you don't take it and lose ground you never completely regain what you lost

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:12:45 PM)
its a very contentious issue, meds, what is best for the client vs what is best for those around them

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:12:57 PM)
I don't know about that, sks

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:12:58 PM)
well - better tell us what it was

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:13:03 PM)
we want a boatload

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:14:04 PM)
I had one of my guys tell me he wants me to cure him of his dementia - that was a toughy

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:14:30 PM)
I told him we couldn't cure him, but we could teach him ways to work around his dementia - he appeared to accept that

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:14:34 PM)
her X didn't but it for her - I felt we saw it in action - also when we went to Reminyl and went back we saw her get near what she had been but felt she lost ground

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:15:06 PM)
I tell Mary - when she says what's going to happen to her - I don't know but we'll deal with it together

skip (Apr 22, 2003 11:15:07 PM)
who knows? things change, you may come up with a miracle cure

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:15:09 PM)
I don't know enough about meds to comment, but it must be hard for you to watch all this happen, sks

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:15:19 PM)
good answer, sks!

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:15:25 PM)
so many times the frustrations for them can be set aside with a hug

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 11:15:26 PM)
It's after 11 my time and have an early day so signing off for tonight! Thank you for chatting!! Remember, as hard as it is, take care of yourself first!!

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:15:37 PM)
brain cells die, skip, they cannot be rebuilt in dementia

skip (Apr 22, 2003 11:15:54 PM)
nite paul

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:15:56 PM)
it's very difficult and more so even for my husband - he's never dealt with children or older people

paultaka (Apr 22, 2003 11:16:02 PM)
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stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:16:08 PM)
I just smile all the time and have a care-free demeaner - it's hard for my clients to be upset when I am so calm, sometimes

skip (Apr 22, 2003 11:16:11 PM)

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:16:34 PM)
wish I could have given you a better answer, skip =)

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:16:41 PM)

skip (Apr 22, 2003 11:16:58 PM)

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:17:08 PM)
I say to her when she's frustrated too Do you need a hug - it won't fix things but we're in it together?

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:17:11 PM)
about the possibility of finding a cure

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:17:23 PM)
oh, that is so sweet, sks

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:17:52 PM)
as we all know but don't like to accept - in the past people had a much shorter life span

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:17:55 PM)
I ask my clients "what can I do for you right now to make your day a little better?" often, it's just sharing a coffee with them

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:18:03 PM)
OH -

skip (Apr 22, 2003 11:18:20 PM)
it helps me to validate mom's feelings... it must be so frustrating for you,... I can't imagine how hard it is for you... (is that a good idea?)

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:18:33 PM)
Stella - something you might be able to try and evaluate - We just switched Mary to non caffeine coffee

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:18:47 PM)
I think it's helping her thought process

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:18:57 PM)
oh, yes, the nurses often ask me to get decaf coffee when I get my guys a coffee!

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:19:16 PM)
skip, thats the majority of my job is validating feelings, you keep that up =)

skip (Apr 22, 2003 11:19:19 PM)
i had to switch mom to decaf everything, or else she was incontinent

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:19:25 PM)
now on the other hand she went back to smoking and maybe 2 or 3 cigarettes a day at most - they are ultra lights and we don't smoke

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:19:40 PM)
but that seems to help her thinking

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:19:48 PM)
I'm not aware of any studies commenting on the effects of smoking in dementia

skip (Apr 22, 2003 11:19:52 PM)
& went to br every 5 mins

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:20:09 PM)
good thing that you switched then, skip

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:20:13 PM)
Skip are you aware of the UTI problems

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:20:34 PM)
I just realized the time, I gotta go to bed, thanks for the great conversation, guys, I forgot how much I enjoyed this chat room!

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:20:36 PM)
Urinary tract infections many times escalate problems

husband (Apr 22, 2003 11:20:41 PM)
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sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:20:45 PM)
not just the trips to bathroom

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:20:47 PM)
yes, sks, very true!

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:20:48 PM)

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:20:51 PM)

skip (Apr 22, 2003 11:20:55 PM)
she's ok there, all's well now, she's like a camel... she tries really hard to wait

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:21:00 PM)

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:21:02 PM)
take good care of yourselves and those that you care for =)

stella (Apr 22, 2003 11:21:08 PM)
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skip (Apr 22, 2003 11:21:09 PM)

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:21:26 PM)
we cultured and then treated then cultured again - she's not good about drinking enough water

husband (Apr 22, 2003 11:21:52 PM)
still here, huh?

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:21:55 PM)
so Huegs - you're heading out Thursday did you say

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:22:10 PM)
we need to know when to worry about you LOL

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:22:59 PM)
I'm going will see you tomorrow night

husband (Apr 22, 2003 11:23:15 PM)
sleep well, everyone

husband (Apr 22, 2003 11:23:19 PM)
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sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:23:27 PM)

skip (Apr 22, 2003 11:23:30 PM)
nite huegs and sks

sks (Apr 22, 2003 11:23:33 PM)
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skip (Apr 22, 2003 11:23:45 PM)
hope you're doing ok

skip (Apr 22, 2003 11:26:25 PM)
hope you and your family take good care of you... take care, I'm about to fall asleep. I said another prayer for you. Goodnight.

skip (Apr 22, 2003 11:26:35 PM)
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huegs (Apr 22, 2003 11:27:22 PM)
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